A Tale of Two… Okay, Technically Three… Ummm, Different Things
Pig “Tales”
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We sometimes watch Dirty Jobs with Elijah and Zeke, a TV program which, inspite of it’s name, is normally a “clean” family show. The host works alongside professionals who do jobs that, quite frankly, no one would ever really aspire to do…like “Worm Dung Farmer.” It’s just gross, which, of course, boys love.
The last Dirty Jobs episode that we watched was about artificially inseminating cows. Mmmm hmmm. Let’s title this tale, “How Not to Initiate a Converstaion About the ‘Birds and the Bees’ With Your Kids.”
Me: I don’t know…don’t you think we should shut this off?
Dave, apperently, disagrees, ignores my suggestion, and says to Elijah and Zeke: So, do you guys understand what’s happening? They’re making that cow pregnant.
Zeke perks up (he is often investigating the “hows” of pregnancy and babies): What? How?
Dave: They’re putting something in the cow that will make her pregnant…from a bull, which is a male cow.
(Now I should mention here that Zeke is especially confused about how I can be done having babies. “How can you know that for sure that you won’t have any more babies?” he has asked me many times. So now, I can see the wheels turning in his head, and I am feeling more and more uncomfortable with this conversation.)
Zeke: So then…how does Mummy get pregnant?
Dave: Well, Daddys have to give Mommys something to make them pregnant, just like what the bull gives the cow.
Zeke, now with a super-scowl on his face, says: So…what your saying is, you stick your hand up Mummy’s butt?!
Oh my…I had to leave the room because I was screaming with laughter. So was Dave, but I think it’s fair to say that he had to stay and close that big ‘ol can of worms that he had opened, don’t you?
May 7th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
HA! (Good thing I didn’t have tea in my mouth.)
You know, though, that thought could keep them out of trouble for a long time…
May 7th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Gorgeous portrait, by the way!
May 7th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
I am laughing so hard right now. I would have had to leave the room too. Oh my goodness, I can’t stop smiling. oh, i love the pigtails too. You must be so excited Janet, to be able to do her hair. Fun, fun.
May 7th, 2008 at 7:12 pm
I just spit out all the carrotts in my mouth all over the floor!
Very funny…
May 7th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
and i have to say it again. I just LOVE her pigtails. she is the cutest thing on campus! ( well besides my two cuties- but that is a given. )
I could just steal her.. except Michael would make her cry, and then he would cry, and we would have to give her back, and than I would cry….
anyways she is cute!
May 7th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
Janet, why would you put me in this situation…everyday I hear…”did Janet post anything new?” And then mom delightedly looks at photos and reads your thoughts. So whats your opinion will she think this is a funny little post or too much information? I just have to show her those pigtales!!!!!
Oh what oh what should i do…
I want to know how the conversation ended! And what sort of information Zeke is now sharing with his little friends :O)
May 8th, 2008 at 6:13 am
Yeah Jill…sorry! I wondered what the grandparents would think of this little story! But it was just sooo hilarious!
By the way, the conversation ended with Dave explaining to them - with as few details as possible - how the exchange between the Daddy and the Mommy happens. I wasn’t thrilled about it, but at the same time I think it’s better they learn about it here at home than at school with their friends. Do you remember Laura Roberts? (that buxom girl in my second grade class…I believe she had flunked a couple grades.) She told me about the ‘birds and the bees.’ In SECOND grade! I can’t remember now if I shared the information with you or not. (?) When I gave Dave a hard time about this “talk” with the boys he said, “Janet, we’re not going to be all secretive and wierd about sex. I don’t think that’s healthy.” …Okie dokie.
No, but seriously, he’s probably right. A lot of times us parents are the ones that make the topic taboo and, true enough, that’s not healthy.
May 8th, 2008 at 1:01 pm
oh man Janet, this is too funny. I agree with Mel that it may keep them out of trouble later in life if they keep that thought
I watched that show once and it was the same thing only with pigs. I was quite traumatized to say the least…ha ha ha
May 8th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
This is why one should not take a sip or bite while opening a blog about several small boys!
Love the pigtails! So cute!
May 8th, 2008 at 7:51 pm
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…
May 17th, 2008 at 3:55 am
Oh my gosh. Too funny!!!
LOVE the pigtails.