Pig “Tales”
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We sometimes watch Dirty Jobs with Elijah and Zeke, a TV program which, inspite of it’s name, is normally a “clean” family show. The host works alongside professionals who do jobs that, quite frankly, no one would ever really aspire to do…like “Worm Dung Farmer.” It’s just gross, which, of course, boys love.
The last Dirty Jobs episode that we watched was about artificially inseminating cows. Mmmm hmmm. Let’s title this tale, “How Not to Initiate a Converstaion About the ‘Birds and the Bees’ With Your Kids.”
Me: I don’t know…don’t you think we should shut this off?
Dave, apperently, disagrees, ignores my suggestion, and says to Elijah and Zeke: So, do you guys understand what’s happening? They’re making that cow pregnant.
Zeke perks up (he is often investigating the “hows” of pregnancy and babies): What? How?
Dave: They’re putting something in the cow that will make her pregnant…from a bull, which is a male cow.
(Now I should mention here that Zeke is especially confused about how I can be done having babies. “How can you know that for sure that you won’t have any more babies?” he has asked me many times. So now, I can see the wheels turning in his head, and I am feeling more and more uncomfortable with this conversation.)
Zeke: So then…how does Mummy get pregnant?
Dave: Well, Daddys have to give Mommys something to make them pregnant, just like what the bull gives the cow.
Zeke, now with a super-scowl on his face, says: So…what your saying is, you stick your hand up Mummy’s butt?!
Oh my…I had to leave the room because I was screaming with laughter. So was Dave, but I think it’s fair to say that he had to stay and close that big ‘ol can of worms that he had opened, don’t you?
) Can you believe I was asked this weekend if Elijah and Zeke were twins? To me they look about as different as two brothers can be. Although, we were sitting at the time, and they look to be the same size when sitting.
