Kicking The Props Away Part I

Okay…here goes.  I’ve been avoiding writing this post ’cause…I don’t know, I don’t want to come across as all pious, and “holier-than-thou,” or preach-y.  But, this is my blog and if you can’t share what’s in your heart on your own blog, then…I think I’ll stop blogging. 

I’ve titled this post “Kicking the Props Away,” because that is exactly what fasting does.  I, for one, can so easily float through life, from day to day, without ever really having to deal with…myself.  What with all the cooking, eating, sleeping, chatting, shopping, medicating myself with entertainment and just going, going, going, I’m constantly in a state of semi-numbness.  I settle for having a dull spirit.  Sad, isn’t it?  Fasting is a good way to remove some of the things that help prop us up.  It exposes what is often times hidden.

My initial reason for wanting to do a media fast was a desire to turn off the “noise,” to get rid of the distractions, the entertainment and the voices that drown of the voice of the Lord.  And I did.  We shut down our TV and computer…and then, guess what I did?  I started reading.  I read a few great christian books…but then suddenly it dawned on me – these books were entertaining me! 

As a side, I’ll say that I read a ton in my BC* era, but when our children came on the scene I swore off reading.  I have a slightly addictive personality, and a good book was like a drug to me; it made me act irrationally.  I’d stay up till all hours of the night reading and then be ornery to my kids throughout the next day, all the while still trying to finish that book.  So, I opted for a half hour or hour long TV show (something with a definate end) to fill up the hole that was left when I decided that reading probably wasn’t a good thing to do while I was caring for small children.

So, anyway, while reading may seem to some a…hmmm, shall we say, slightly more aristocractic form of entertainment, it is still entertainment.  Which, I will reiterate, is not an evil in itself, but in my own life I believe entertainment has been a huge distraction from knowing (and therefore loving!) God.

I felt God telling me to be still, to just gaze upon Him, (not what a book said about Him).  So I did… and I did this a lot, like a few hours out of each day.  Mostly in the evenings, but also during the day, when I had an extra 20 minutes here and there.  It wasn’t easy.  In fact, at first, a lot of the time, it was downright depressing.  I had to come face to face with my spiritual barrenness…how my spirit was so dull, and insensitive to the Holy Spirit.  It brought me to a place of contemplating how, in my humanness, I don’t even have the ability to love and commune with God without the Holy Spirit inside me. 

 Jesus calls this being “poor in spirit” in the Sermon on the Mount.  (Matt. 5:1-12)   In our culture, especially, being poor in spirit certainly isn’t a desirable state to be in.  Our culture values strength and self-sufficiency.  But, I truly believe being poor in spirit needs to become a reality for all believers, for it’s only when we come to grips with our own spiritual poverty that we can receive the “Kingdom of Heaven.”  Incredible, isn’t it?  Jesus calls the poor in spirit “blessed”  for this reason!   Utterly amzing.

So ends Kicking the Props Away Part I…

*before children