dave & janet horsman ::: keepin’ it real since 1998

Yeah…Phoebs and Sandy B. are pretty tight. 

Pig “Tales”

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We sometimes watch Dirty Jobs with Elijah and Zeke, a TV program which, inspite of it’s name, is normally a “clean” family show.  The host works alongside professionals who do jobs that, quite frankly, no one would ever really aspire to do…like “Worm Dung Farmer.”   It’s just gross, which, of course, boys love. 

The last Dirty Jobs episode that we watched was about artificially inseminating cows.  Mmmm hmmm.  Let’s title this tale, “How Not to Initiate a Converstaion About the ‘Birds and the Bees’ With Your Kids.”

 Me:  I don’t know…don’t you think we should shut this off?

Dave, apperently, disagrees, ignores my suggestion, and says to Elijah and Zeke:  So, do you guys understand what’s happening?  They’re making that cow pregnant.

Zeke perks up (he is often investigating the “hows” of pregnancy and babies):  What?  How?

Dave:  They’re putting something in the cow that will make her pregnant…from a bull, which is a male cow.

(Now I should mention here that Zeke is especially confused about how I can be done having babies.  “How can you know that for sure that you won’t have any more babies?” he has asked me many times.  So now, I can see the wheels turning in his head, and I am feeling more and more uncomfortable with this conversation.)

Zeke:  So then…how does Mummy get pregnant? 

Dave:  Well, Daddys have to give Mommys something to make them pregnant, just like what the bull gives the cow.

Zeke, now with a super-scowl on his face, says:  So…what your saying is, you stick your hand up Mummy’s butt?!

Oh my…I had to leave the room because I was screaming with laughter.  So was Dave, but I think it’s fair to say that he had to stay and close that big ‘ol can of worms that he had opened, don’t you?

Sometimes only Mama’s arms will do.

How cute is she?!  (Photos were taken with Daddy’s new “smart phone,” which, he says, “has a pretty good camera, so you don’t need to buy a new one.”  …Yeah, right.  Nice try, Dave.)

Dave has Thursday mornings off, and when he volunteered to take Phoebe to her 9 month check-up (and six month shots…we’re a little behind in the schedule) yesterday, I was happy to let him.  So cute…Daddy and his little girl.  Here are Phoebe’s stats, for those who are interested…

Weight:  24 lbs, 4 oz - 95%
Legnth:  29 1/4 inches - 95%
Head:  18 inches - 95%

I cannot believe she is so big!  Especially since most of her nourishment still comes from nursing.  She’s starting to eat little bits of food now, but she still nurses quite a bit.  (So, to all who have asked me why I’m so skinny, I guess my little girl must consume most of the calories that I eat…Hmmm, I think I’ll just nurse her indefinitly!  :))

P.S.  A little blurb about the previous post…  If your a regualr here at DJ and the Prophets, you know that the first week of every month is a TV turn off week.  I love it.  It forces the kids to get creative during the times that they are normally watching TV.  So, yesterday evening, Elijah must have been hankering for “something different,”  and convinced me to let him write a post.  Well, I was totally impressed with his little note;  I had no idea he could put together something like that! 

Patient I:  Phoebe

Symptoms:  Runny nose.

Current condition:  Very good.  Runny nose only lasted about a day.   

Notes:  The flu shot that the patient recieved in late December seems to have protected her from the illness that has afflicted the rest of her family.  Make sure everyone gets the flu shot next fall! 

Patient II:  Noah

Symptoms:  Runny nose, fever, cough, lethargy.

Current condition:  Poor.  We’re on to day three of the fever. 

Diagnosis:  Ear infection is suspected, since colds have a history of settling in the patient’s ears. 

Notes:  Dr. Mom is ready to admit defeat and make a visit to a real Dr., who will probaly perscribe antibiotis.  :(  Dr. Mom wants to give the patients body the chance to fight off the ear infection on it’s own, but doesn’t want to subject him to undue discomfort.  Sigh  Maybe I should give it one more day?