dave & janet horsman ::: keepin’ it real since 1998

Hello all!  …Well, it’s no secret that I’ve been seriously neglecting my blog.  My apologies.  There are really a number of different reasons that factor in to my neglect.  One big factor - and this came as a huge revelation to me the other day - is that my blogging career thus far in life did not include a three-year-old!   Oh boy, three-year-olds are busy little creatures.  Full of curiosity and energy, love for life and…well, energy.  And add to this that Noah, just like my first two three-year-olds, can’t seem to slow down for a nap (and if he does, he’s up till 10:00 pm…no thanks!) leaves me with very little down time.  Yet, all this is tempered by the fact that I know first hand how quickly these precious toddler/preschool years go by, and so, I strive to enjoy every moment with him.

Of course, another factor that has been distracting me from blogging (and all types of media) is my previously stated desire to be satisfied with the superior things of God, and not  the lesser pleasures of this world.  After our 40 day media fast, I really felt a conviction to continue to press in to God’s Word and spending time in prayer.  And with this conviction also came the conviction that playing the “as-a-stay-at-home-mom-I-don’t-have-time-to-spend-time-with-the-Lord” card is really a very poor excuse!  As a mom of four kids, I know for sure that I can juggle many different things at once.  Spending time in the Word and in prayer and with my kids need not be any different. 

So…there you have it, why my posting has become so sparse.  I hope to strike a “balance” soon…but then again, I’ve been contemplating the idea of balancing the good  with the best.   Should not the best hugely outweigh the good?

Well, just when I thought it was safe to start blogging in full force again, we had amazing, summer-like weather last week, and all I and the l’il ones could do was wonder around out in the beautiful sunshine. 

Anyway, here are a couple things that captured my attention when I wasn’t outside.  I’ve been following this story since last weekend.  The Bohlenders just adopted two beautiful little baby girls!  They’re part of IHOP-KC, were at the Call, and Kelsey, the wife, gave a testimony of how the Lord called them into adoption a couple of years ago.  It really impacted Dave and me.  Last weekend, when they heard of newborn twin girls that we’re going to be placed into the Florida state foster care system, they dropped everything, flew to Florida, and did everything in their power to gain possession of them.  It’s an amazing story of redemption…a picture of God going out of his way to rescue us.  Beautiful.  Check out their site.  And while you’re there, consider donating to their adoption fund!

And I’ve been listening to and singing this song, Weak Glance, for the past week.  Have a listen and let it minister…

Here’s another statement Jesus made that convinces me that living in relationship with Him does not negate the fact that we should also strive to live in obedience - ”If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”  (John 14:15)

So what were His commandments?  Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount is a good place to start…

The Sermon on the Mount Lifestyle

I think many believers feel that the Christian life is just too mysterious to really grasp.  The tension lies between the ease and the difficulty of a life of wholeheartedness. The difficult part of wholeheartedness is not in its mysteriousness.  Wholeheartedness toward God, which is what we are to truly desire, is walked out by doing the main, plain things of Scripture.  It’s not complicated, but it is difficult to deny our fleshly desires and pride.  Jesus spelled out what wholeheartedness before God means in His Sermon on the Mount.  It contains the non-negotiable principles, or “constitution” of the Kingdom of God.  It’s Christianity 101!

So, what does the Sermon on the Mount lifestyle look like in our day-to-day existence?  There are five types of “fasting” described in the Sermon on the Mount. 

By giving, we fast our money.  (Matt. 19-24)  We are trusting God to return and multiply back to us the financial strength that we have given away.  We all know the story of the widow who gave her last two mites.  Like this widow, it is important in the fasted lifestyle to give in such a way that we feel its impact, and not just give out of our wealth and surplus. 

In serving others, we fast our time and energy.  (Matt. 6:3-4)  The time “wasted” in serving is time that we cannot use to establish our own personal comfort and pleasure.  Thus, we trust the Lord to work for our increase in a way that surpasses what we could have accomplished by spending that very same amount of time on establishing our own cause.

The third expression of the fasted lifestyle is prayer.  (Matt. 6:6)  In prayer, we fast our time and emotions.  When we give our time to God in prayer we miss opportunities to build our ministries, businesses or to recreate or be entertained.  We also give our emotional energy during prayer as we pour ourselves out to intercede for others and feel what God feels.

By blessing our enemies we’re fasting our words and reputation.  (Matt. 5:44, 6:14)  This is also known as meekness.  When we bless our enemies, we give up the right to the emotional and social strength we might have gotten from fighting back.  This means refraining from words that would have exposed our enemy , defended our position, and strengthened us with the sympathy and support of others.  When we lose that natural strength, imitating the Lord’s silence before his accusers, we are forced to gain strength and comfort from God.  This is probably the most difficult form of fasting.

Finally, Jesus calls us to the fasting of food.  (Matt. 6:17-18) Abstaining from food is what we typically think of when we refer to fasting.  The difficulty in fasting from food is not to much the hunger as it is the weakness.  And when we are physically weak we are forced to entrust ourselves to the Lord for both strength and comfort, and as we do so, we become focused on encountering God.  

Once again, unless done in a heart of love, these activities are empty and vain.  And they aren’t a substitute for pursuing 100% obedience.  God doesn’t keep score of our good works and bad works so that they may balance each other out.  You can’t bargain with God, and offer Him more of your money to make up for living in immorality.  It doesn’t work that way.

So why don’t we see Christians pursuing this lifestyle here in America?  I believe we think that our 21st century western culture is immune to it.  We’re quick to make excuses:  “Our lives are so busy.  How can God expect us to fast our time and energy in prayer and service to others?  It was different in His day.” or “I have to defend myself or I’ll get taken advantage of.” or “Surely God doesn’t expect me to give in such a way that I wouldn’t be able to pay a mortgage on a nice, big house?”

Dave and I have been listening to an excellent sermon series called The Culture of the Kingdom by Billy Humphrey.  It’s phenomenal.  But as I listen, I just want to cry.  We’re so entrenched in pursuing the American Dream - mammon - here in the Western Church that I can’t see the way out. 

In Revelation 22:17 it says, “The Spirit and the bride say ‘Come.’” (to Jesus)  Well, it doesn’t take a revelation from the Holy Spirit to observe that the bride (the Church) is not  saying “Come.”  We’re too preoccupied with our padded and cushy lives to truly desire Jesus’ second coming.  And Jesus is not going to come to a mediocre, ho-hum, take-Him-or-leave-Him bride, He’s going to come to a bride with hot, fiery, passionate love for Him.  A bride that’s crying out, “Come Jesus.  We want you here!  We love you!” 

But here’s the good news.  We will get it.  The above verse is proof of it.  It might take some shaking (either self-inflicted or from God) to remove those props that keep us from wholeheartedness, but we will, in the years and decades to come, come into alignment with the Spirit and cry out for Jesus’ return.  That’s why Dave and I are so sold out on the prayer movement.  Among other things (and I plan to explain more about the prayer movement in a future post) it’s all about corporately going after wholeheartedness, and crying out in prayer for Jesus to come back.  It’s awesome.  There’s no other place we’d rather be!

Holiness.  What is holiness?  In my opinion, there is a huge deficiancy in the area of holiness here in the Western Church.  This is another reason why I love IHOP:  they call believers to holiness.  Not that anyone can ever be 100% perfect and holy, but holiness should  be what all believers are striving for.  It’s the enthusiastic “Yes!”  in our spirits that steals God’s heart; our sincere desire to please Him that counts, not  perfection.  Somewhere along the way this message has gotten obscured and clouded.  Now we seem to believe that if we can’t be perfect, then why even try?

The Pharisees in Jesus’ day no doubt believed that they epitomized holiness, yet they were rebuked many times by Jesus himself for their legalism and religiosity.  Today, I think, we misinterpret Jesus’ words against the Pharisees and, because we don’t want to be labeled as “legalistic,” we then err on the side of becoming licentious; since being a Christian is about “a relationship, not rules” we think that all rules and discipline are bad.

Which is so not true.  Jesus said that he came to fulfill the law, not to abolish it.  (Matt. 5:16-18)  The issue then is not relationship or  rules, but relationship and  rules …and  one’s heart posture.  Yes, we are to live in relationship and fellowship with Jesus, but I think it’s pretty safe to say that the clear expectations that Jesus sets forth in His Word about how a believer should live in meekness and holiness can be taken as a personal message staight from Him to us!  And, of course, if we pursue a lifestyle of radical obedience in an effort to earn a right-standing before God, instead of it being and expression our love, devotion and desire to align ourselves with Him and what he values, then we are indeed like the Pharisees. 

*Sigh*  I’m wrestling with this.  Our family is stepping out into living a “fasted lifestyle,” - (fasting food, time, energy, money and words; also known as the “Sermon on the Mount lifestyle.” I plan to expound on this in my next “props” post) - and…it’s hard, misunderstood.  These words from Mike Bickle, the director of IHOP, in his book “The Rewards of Fasting” sum up my thoughts,

I have had many conversations where people urged me to play more and pray less so that I might live a more “balanced” life as they do.  People want you to be happy with what makes them happy.  When you’re happy with something else, they sometimes feel rejected or judged by you.  People often feel judged by the lifestyles of those who do not have the same desire for possessions, comforts and pleasures.  They insist that you need more socializing and entertainment to keep you from getting too far “out there.”  The multitudes called John the Baptist demonized.  (Matt. 11:18)

Now don’t misunderstand me.  I’m not suggesting that I’m anything “like Mike.”  He has “fasted” large amounts of his time and energy in prayer and has striven to live in meekness and holiness over the years.  And I can’t begin to relate to how misunderstood he often feels.  What I guess I relate to in this statement is how it articulates the “great divide” between the “fasted lifestyle” and the western lifestyle (which has, sadly, permeated the Western Church).  The western lifestyle is all about getting - getting a bigger house, more stuff, a better paying job…so that you can buy more stuff - and living in comfort, pleasure and ease.  When you “kick these props” out of the way, you’re definately swimming against the current!  Really, for the most part, you’re percieved as being religious and legalistic (and  wierd).  Which is not at all the posture of my heart.

So…I don’t know where I’m going with all this.  These are just some of my very disjointed thoughts.  Thanks for reading. 

First off, I wanted to to direct you towards an excellent sermon by  Billy Humphrey from OneThing 2005.  I listened to it shortly after I wrote Part I of “Kicking the Props Away,” and all through it, I was saying, “Yes!  YES!  Exactly!”  In an indirect way, it’s also about being poor in spirit, and communicates what has also been on my heart, but unable to express the way he does.  It’s an hour or so long, but trust me, it’s a good way to spend an hour!  In fact, I’d vouch for any and every Billy Humphrey sermon.  I’ve listened to many now, and have been really stirred up by all.

Now…I wanted to share with you (again at the risk of sounding preach-y) some things that I felt the Lord speaking to me as I spent time with Him over this past month.  I spent a good portion of time reading the Bible…slowly and devotionaly, and asking God to reveal Himself to me in it’s pages.  For some reason, I thought I’d start in the Prophetic books.   The message in these books, admittedly, is pretty weighty, but they also reveal the passion of God towards His people; His jealous zeal for us.  A constant theme that the Lord spoke through his prophets was “Get rid of your idols.”  He sent prophet after prophet to His people to warn them of coming judgement if they didn’t forsake their idols.   Talk about patience, eh?!  

So, after reading chapter after chapter with this message I was left perplexed.  “Why, oh why, didn’t they just get rid of their idols?”   It seemed like a pretty clear and simple message!   Then God began to show me, in a very loving way, how similar I was to the Israelites.  I began to feel convicted of many things that I choose above God…like, all the time, every day.  Somehow, I’d tricked myself into believing that these things were benign.  For instance, just about every evening, I liked to “veg” in front of the TV. 

Not a big deal, right?  But let’s think about what “vegging” is.  Vegging, for me, is very soothing…soothing to my soul actually.  It fulfilled a longing that I had.  Different things soothe different people…some “eat their emotions,” still others feel elated when they’re shopping.   Yet we know, don’t we, that only God should fulfill the longing of our souls?  A pretty clear and simple message…but, just like the Isrealites, our idolatry is so wrapped up in fun, entertainment and fulfillment, that we’re constantly warring against putting things before God.  And actually, the scary part is, that most of us here in the North American Church, aren’t warring.  The message of the prophets of the Old Testament, is as relavent today as it was back then…and just as ignored.

Hebrews 12:26-27 tells us that once more, God is going to shake everything that can be shaken.  In other words God  will “Kick the Props Away,” so that “what cannot be shaken may remain.”  Wow.  God, in His great love for us, in his jealous zeal, is going to remove everything that hinders us from loving Him - our idols.  I believe that this day is coming soon.  Possibly in my lifetime, but if not during mine, then during my children’s lifetime.   And right now, I want to be building a foundation in my life, and in my childrens lives, of things that cannot be shaken, so that, when the day of shaking comes, I will be able to stand firm.   

Whew!  This is heavy stuff, is it not?  I tremble under the weight of it. 

Okay…here goes.  I’ve been avoiding writing this post ’cause…I don’t know, I don’t want to come across as all pious, and “holier-than-thou,” or preach-y.  But, this is my blog and if you can’t share what’s in your heart on your own blog, then…I think I’ll stop blogging. 

I’ve titled this post “Kicking the Props Away,” because that is exactly what fasting does.  I, for one, can so easily float through life, from day to day, without ever really having to deal with…myself.  What with all the cooking, eating, sleeping, chatting, shopping, medicating myself with entertainment and just going, going, going, I’m constantly in a state of semi-numbness.  I settle for having a dull spirit.  Sad, isn’t it?  Fasting is a good way to remove some of the things that help prop us up.  It exposes what is often times hidden.

My initial reason for wanting to do a media fast was a desire to turn off the “noise,” to get rid of the distractions, the entertainment and the voices that drown of the voice of the Lord.  And I did.  We shut down our TV and computer…and then, guess what I did?  I started reading.  I read a few great christian books…but then suddenly it dawned on me - these books were entertaining me! 

As a side, I’ll say that I read a ton in my BC* era, but when our children came on the scene I swore off reading.  I have a slightly addictive personality, and a good book was like a drug to me; it made me act irrationally.  I’d stay up till all hours of the night reading and then be ornery to my kids throughout the next day, all the while still trying to finish that book.  So, I opted for a half hour or hour long TV show (something with a definate end) to fill up the hole that was left when I decided that reading probably wasn’t a good thing to do while I was caring for small children.

So, anyway, while reading may seem to some a…hmmm, shall we say, slightly more aristocractic form of entertainment, it is still entertainment.  Which, I will reiterate, is not an evil in itself, but in my own life I believe entertainment has been a huge distraction from knowing (and therefore loving!) God.

I felt God telling me to be still, to just gaze upon Him, (not what a book said about Him).  So I did… and I did this a lot, like a few hours out of each day.  Mostly in the evenings, but also during the day, when I had an extra 20 minutes here and there.  It wasn’t easy.  In fact, at first, a lot of the time, it was downright depressing.  I had to come face to face with my spiritual barrenness…how my spirit was so dull, and insensitive to the Holy Spirit.  It brought me to a place of contemplating how, in my humanness, I don’t even have the ability to love and commune with God without the Holy Spirit inside me. 

 Jesus calls this being “poor in spirit” in the Sermon on the Mount.  (Matt. 5:1-12)   In our culture, especially, being poor in spirit certainly isn’t a desirable state to be in.  Our culture values strength and self-sufficiency.  But, I truly believe being poor in spirit needs to become a reality for all believers, for it’s only when we come to grips with our own spiritual poverty that we can receive the “Kingdom of Heaven.”  Incredible, isn’t it?  Jesus calls the poor in spirit “blessed”  for this reason!   Utterly amzing.

So ends Kicking the Props Away Part I…

*before children

Joel 2:12-13, 15

“Even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning. Rend your heart and not your garments.” Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity… Blow the trumpet in Zion, decalre a holy fast, call a sacred assembly.

Dave and I are headed to The Call in Washington DC this weekend. (18 hour drive!) I mentioned to Dave last week that I was really feeling we should go, and the next day everything pretty much fell into place for us to go! The little video clip below will explain a little more of what it’s about. I encourage you to prayerfully consider participating in this event even from afar. (I believe you’re able to watch it via webstream.)

P.S. Our whole family is doing a 40 day media fast…and it’s been so good. For me especially. I’ll share some about this next week maybe. God is good!