Category Archives: head to heart

Okay…here goes.  I’ve been avoiding writing this post ’cause…I don’t know, I don’t want to come across as all pious, and “holier-than-thou,” or preach-y.  But, this is my blog and if you can’t share what’s in your heart on your own blog, then…I think I’ll stop blogging. 

I’ve titled this post “Kicking the Props Away,” because that is exactly what fasting does.  I, for one, can so easily float through life, from day to day, without ever really having to deal with…myself.  What with all the cooking, eating, sleeping, chatting, shopping, medicating myself with entertainment and just going, going, going, I’m constantly in a state of semi-numbness.  I settle for having a dull spirit.  Sad, isn’t it?  Fasting is a good way to remove some of the things that help prop us up.  It exposes what is often times hidden.

My initial reason for wanting to do a media fast was a desire to turn off the “noise,” to get rid of the distractions, the entertainment and the voices that drown of the voice of the Lord.  And I did.  We shut down our TV and computer…and then, guess what I did?  I started reading.  I read a few great christian books…but then suddenly it dawned on me – these books were entertaining me! 

As a side, I’ll say that I read a ton in my BC* era, but when our children came on the scene I swore off reading.  I have a slightly addictive personality, and a good book was like a drug to me; it made me act irrationally.  I’d stay up till all hours of the night reading and then be ornery to my kids throughout the next day, all the while still trying to finish that book.  So, I opted for a half hour or hour long TV show (something with a definate end) to fill up the hole that was left when I decided that reading probably wasn’t a good thing to do while I was caring for small children.

So, anyway, while reading may seem to some a…hmmm, shall we say, slightly more aristocractic form of entertainment, it is still entertainment.  Which, I will reiterate, is not an evil in itself, but in my own life I believe entertainment has been a huge distraction from knowing (and therefore loving!) God.

I felt God telling me to be still, to just gaze upon Him, (not what a book said about Him).  So I did… and I did this a lot, like a few hours out of each day.  Mostly in the evenings, but also during the day, when I had an extra 20 minutes here and there.  It wasn’t easy.  In fact, at first, a lot of the time, it was downright depressing.  I had to come face to face with my spiritual barrenness…how my spirit was so dull, and insensitive to the Holy Spirit.  It brought me to a place of contemplating how, in my humanness, I don’t even have the ability to love and commune with God without the Holy Spirit inside me. 

 Jesus calls this being “poor in spirit” in the Sermon on the Mount.  (Matt. 5:1-12)   In our culture, especially, being poor in spirit certainly isn’t a desirable state to be in.  Our culture values strength and self-sufficiency.  But, I truly believe being poor in spirit needs to become a reality for all believers, for it’s only when we come to grips with our own spiritual poverty that we can receive the “Kingdom of Heaven.”  Incredible, isn’t it?  Jesus calls the poor in spirit “blessed”  for this reason!   Utterly amzing.

So ends Kicking the Props Away Part I…

*before children

Joel 2:12-13, 15

“Even now,” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning. Rend your heart and not your garments.” Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity… Blow the trumpet in Zion, decalre a holy fast, call a sacred assembly.

Dave and I are headed to The Call in Washington DC this weekend. (18 hour drive!) I mentioned to Dave last week that I was really feeling we should go, and the next day everything pretty much fell into place for us to go! The little video clip below will explain a little more of what it’s about. I encourage you to prayerfully consider participating in this event even from afar. (I believe you’re able to watch it via webstream.)

P.S. Our whole family is doing a 40 day media fast…and it’s been so good. For me especially. I’ll share some about this next week maybe. God is good!

by John Baillie

We must not think that all the things that threaten the spiritual life are evil in themselves.  So often it is the good that is the enemy of the best.  That is why the culture of the spiritual life demands a strict discipline.  You and I must be ruthless with ourselves, if the light of the knowledge of the glory of God is to survive within us.  Jesus sad that though “the eye is the light of the body,” yet “if your right eye causes you to sin, then pluck it out and cast it away from you.”  My own experiance has been that there are some enjoyments, some distractions, some ways of spending my time, from which I must firmly turn aside, if I am going to keep the Spirit alive within me.  I can say nothing against them in the abstract; they may even be all right for other people; but I know myself well enough to be sure that I cannot afford to indulge in them wihout danger of losing the Pearl of Great Price. 

This is so where I’m at right now.

We arrived home last weekend.  It’s lovely to be home!  I love summer evenings in Minnesota.  Blogging has been on the back-burner though, and will continue to be for the next month or so. 

Among the things that impacted me most at IHOP was our study of the book of Daniel.  Daniel has quite a bit to say about the end times, but we also dug into what the book tells us about what it takes to cultivate a prophetic spirit as Daniel had (it was awesome!!!).  One thing that we talked about just briefly, but really went deep into my heart was the question, “Who were Daniel’s parents?”  What was instilled in this young man that after (most likely) witnessing his parents being murdered, being shackled and marched across the desert to Babylon and then being sat down in front of the King’s yummy food and choosing not to defile himself with it?  He was trained up in the ways of Babylon, but returned to his God day after day in prayer…even when his life was threatened!  (The song “Dare to be a Daniel” has a whole new meaning to me.)  He had a Living Truth inside of him!  Oh that my children would have that same Truth inside of them! 

Anyway, all this to say that our family has taken a huge step back from media/entertainment/internet in order to persue cultivating a spirit of prayer and prophecy.  In my own personal life I can say for sure and for certain, that nothing has distracted me from knowing God like the TV and the internet.  I believe our North American culture is addiced to entertainment…Christians included…myself included!  And if you think, “Nope, not me,” then try shutting everything media related down for a while like I have, and see how it effects you.  My friends, at the end of the day, when the kidlets are all in bed, I absolutely long to turn on the TV or cumputer!  And please believe me when I say that this is not meant to be an indictment against anyone.  Really and truly it isn’t.  I’m writing this from a place a brokeness and humility…and with a sadness that I don’t know the voice of the Lord…and most of the time I don’t even care that I don’t know His voice.  I’ve been asking the Lord to give me spiritual hunger, but how can I feel spiritually hungry if I am constantly satiating myself with media and enterainment?

Sheesh!  You certainly got an earful (or, I guess it would be an eyeful?) today didn’t you?!  Many have asked since we’ve been back what impacted me most during our time in Kansas City, and well…you just read it. 

I want to end with this (since I must end somewhere):  Part of what makes IHOP IHOP is their teaching on how to God we are “dark yet lovely.” (Song of Solomon 1:5)  Even in our weak and feeble human state He is absolutely in love with us!  Also from the Song of Solomon:  “You have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes.” (4:9)  God’s heart melts at every attempt we make at persuing Him, no matter how small and insignificant it may seem.   Friends, I don’t know what I’m doing…I kind of feel like everything I thought I knew and believed about raising my children as Christians in today’s word has been pulled out from under me.  But I do know that I have a sincere desire to know God in a much deeper way; a sincere desire for my children to know God.  And that steals His heart.    How empowering! 

Ahhh…a brief internet connected moment. Here’s some proof that we’re still alive…

Our home for ten days…

Mmmmm…

How cute is this?

Elijah’s our little fish. He totally taught himself how to swim in the pool at our camp ground.

Bathtime at the camp ground…

Such handsome boys. (But I’m a little biased)

Silly Noah.

The perpetually askew hairclip…

“Baby Steps”

…Oh man…so much to say! But…how? I struggle to put into words all that God is doing in my heart and in our family. I feel somehow that I shouldn’t. Not yet. Like Mary the mother of Jesus, I feel I am to “”treasure up all these things”, and “ponder them in my heart.” (Luke 2:19)

One thing I will share though… As you can see in that last photo Phoebe is learning to walk! There are few things quite as precious and just downright cute as a toddler learning to walk, wouldn’t you agree? She’s taken many of her first, wobbly steps right in the prayer room here in Kansas City. A prophetic sign to our family, I believe, that as we step out into this prayer movement on wobbly legs, as a toddler does, that the Lord is smiling down on us. We’re not sure how it’s all going play out with our four rowdy children in tow (:-)), there will be many days that will be discouraging, we’ll lose focus, and fall down… But just as walking will soon be “old hat” to Phoebe, so raising our kids right in the midst of the prayer movement will be. Although, I assume the former will happen much before the latter.

I want to share some more thoughts, but I’m running out of time. It’s just about time to go pick up all the kids. They are at the Children’s Equipping Center here (which is so awesome!) three hours a day while Dave and I are in classes. (This is a class-free day though) Imagine…I’ve been without my kids for three hours a day for the past two and a half weeks! It’s been such a refreshing time for me. I’ve not been able to sit and soak up teaching since… well, I think since before Elijah was born!

Okay, so I’m not very impressed.  While I was away, “djandtheprophets was upgraded and is now running on the latest bleeding edge version of WordPress!!“  Whatever that means.  All it means to me is that now I can’t figure out how to include photos in a post.  Dave can’t even figure it out.  So, sadly, I’m unable to share some very cute pictures of my just-turned-THREE(!)-year-old with you.  Noah had a birthday today! I have a three-year-old again and I love it.  Three is one of my favorite ages. 

TV turn off week went really well around these parts.  Of course the kids are veterans at TV turn offs by now and always impress me with their creative ways of entertainment.  For me, though, the computer shut-down was quite challenging.  It was surprising to me how much I really did miss my Facebook friends, and half-dozen or so blogs that I visit regularly.  

The time that I spent away from the computer gave me plenty of time to comtemplate why these things have become so important to me.  And not just to me…to many people.  Last week I read that a huge percentage of adults are addicted to blogging, e-mail and Facebook in the same way that kids are addicted to video games and TV.  Not suprising to me at all.  I don’t know that I’d call myself an addict, but I do believe that those things deserve a lot less attention from me than they’ve been getting. 

Up until a week ago our computer has usually just been perpetually on.  …Way to tempting!  So, for a while (and maybe indefinitly) I’m going to do my “computering” on Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings only and shut the computer down at all other times.  I don’t know…I like staying in touch with friends and feeling connected with the “adult world”…but in some instances it seems like it’s at the expense of what’s happening here.  Know what I mean?

Remember way back when when I mentioned that the BHOP prayer room was undergoing a remodel (most of it by the hands of my husband and his coworkers!)?  It’s finally done!  As with many such projects it wasn’t without it’s hiccoughs but it has turned out beautifully.  And that $70,000+ sound system?  Wowzers!  This past Sunday evening BHOP had a relaunch service; a time in which they shared a bit of the history of BHOP, and their vision for the future.  They also announced their new schedule:  six hours (from 4-10 pm) of live music and prayer leading daily from Monday to Friday.  Awesome. 

With this relaunch, Dave and I have felt a conviction to spend time in the BHOP prayer room as a family.  A rare occurance because…well, quite frankly, it’s hard.  Really hard.  I was so encouraged lately, though, with a word from a friend.  She has two little boys, and has tenaciously brought them to the prayer room with her regularly.   Recently she began to feel discouraged as the boys whined that they didn’t want to go, and with this, her experience became much less enjoyable.  “Well,”  she thought, “no one’s enjoying this anymore.  Why keep going?”  The Lord spoke clearly to her though:  “I enjoy it.” He said.   Mmmm.  Good stuff.

Our pastor preached a really good sermon this past Sunday titled, “In The Meantime…”; about how very often, when we recieve a vision from God, it can be a long time ’till it comes to fruition.  He spoke of the story of Jacob wrestling with the angel, and how we must contend* like he did in order to recieve a blessing from the Lord.   Dave and I both have a vision for all of our children to be very involved in the prayer room one day.  Wouldn’t it be nice if it could just click into place?  Be easy?  But, like most good things in life, it’s probably going to come with a struggle.  And the thing is, the struggle itself is actually what will stregnthen us, and help bring our vision into being.  Cool.  But still…it would be nice if it were easy! 

*1.	to struggle in opposition: to contend with the enemy for control of the port.

2.	to strive in rivalry; compete; vie: to contend for first prize.

I’m sure you’ve all heard of the movie opening today, Horton Hears a Who, based on the book of the same name by Dr. Seuss. It is a rare occurance for our family to go see a movie full price at the theatre, but we have a special outing planned for this evening to go see it! Very exciting.

We’ve been talking about the simple theme of the book (which they’ve been listening to on CD a lot) with Elijah and Zeke – “a person’s a person, no matter how small” – for a while now…first in the context of standing up for the weak; those around them whose voices aren’t as loud as their own, but also in relation to abortion. We’ve explained to them, in very simple terms, what abortion is, and they are, of course, appalled and angered at the idea of it (as we all should be!).

This movie, we’re praying as a family, is going to start to bring change in the minds of a world that has decided that the unborn don’t matter. For this is the only way, I believe, that abortion will end…not through loud demonstrations, but through prayer that the Lord will awaken hearts. Awaken hearts to hear the cry of the unborn. And he is going to use The Church to do this; like Horton does for the Whos, we shall speak on their behalf.

I encourage you all to read the words below from Lou Engle, a man with a burning passion for the Lord, and a strong desire to see abortion end in our generation. Dave and I heard him speak once at IHOP in Kansas City, and were very blessed by him.  Granted, it is a lot to read in one sitting, but it is very cool!…

————————————————————

God is communicating His big dream of ending abortion in a most profound way through the dream stream story of Horton Hears A Who by Dr. Seuss. In February 2005, one of our youth, a 15-year-old girl at the Justice House of Prayer, had a dream. In the dream she saw a large, beautiful building with the words “The Who” appearing over it. She and her sisters entered the house and began to look throughout the building until they found the attic where there was a series of old books from the past that they knew would be needed for the future. She shared her dream with the JHOP team. I knew the dream was from God, but I wondered, “What is ‘The Who,’ and what are these old books?”

The next morning while pondering the dream, I received a remarkable email from a man in Kansas City that included a sermon he gave several years ago on what must occur for abortion to end. He felt led to send it to me, even though he thought it was unusual that the analogy the Lord had given him was based on the Dr. Seuss book, Horton Hears a Who. When I read this, I instantly connected “The Who” in the dream with “The Who” in the book. I was immediately interested!

In this children’s book written in 1954, we find an elephant whose name is Horton. He is the prophetic Church with big ears and a large trumpet. He can hear what no one else can hear–the sound of these
little people called, The Whos, who live in the microscopic town of Who-ville.

In the book, we also find a kangaroo who wants to kill all the little Whos, because he cannot see or hear them. He doesn’t believe they exist. Immediately the thought came to me, “The kangaroo is the
kangaroo court!”–it stands for the Supreme Court who issued the death decree of ’73 in Roe v Wade, and legalized abortion. Wow! I realized that what I was reading was a parable from the past that was now going to be used en masse, for the ending of abortion. The theme of the whole book amazingly is, “A person’s a person, no matter how small!” And the remedy for the crisis is that every voice must be raised loudly and urgently to rescue all the little unborn Whos. With the kangaroo’s death decree hanging over Who-ville, Horton implores the mayor “to CALL a big meeting, get everyone out, make every Who holler, make every Who shout!”

Graciously, The ElijahList blasted this story February 16, 2005. Amazingly, the next day I received an email from a woman who said she read The ElijahList article and received three confirmations the following day at her Day Care Center. One child came in with a Horton Hears A Who backpack, a second was carrying a Who-ville doll, but the third–a ten-year-old boy–came to her and said, “Ma’am, I had a dream last night. I dreamt of Horton Hears a Who, and all the little Whos were not saying YOPP; they were crying STOP!!!”

Oh, my God, there is a massive cry being raised up from the young ones of the earth, praying and prophesying, “STOP ABORTION, STOP! STOP! STOP!!!!!!!!!!” What are the chances of this divine confirmation? Those who read this are now held accountable. The whole Church must cry out now–STOP ABORTION!

Soon after, another man connected with me and said, “My ten-year-old daughter was reading Horton Hears A Who to her little brother.” She came to her father and said, “Dad, I think this book is about ending abortion.” That afternoon, he read The Elijah List article on Horton Hears a Who. This man now leads our Bound4LIFE ministry.

Again, amazingly, we found out that Fox Movies is doing a major motion picture in 2008, called, Horton Hears A Who, starring Jim Carrey (update, this movie opens up this Friday, March 14, 2008).

The Lord is SHOUTING to the nation! Will we have ears to hear what the Spirit is saying? Read the rest of this entry »

The present is the point at which time touches eternity.  -From C.S. Lewis’ book The Screwtape Letters.

Have you ever read The Screwtape Letters?  A facsinating book, really.  It’s a collection of correspondances between Screwtape, a wise old devil, and his nephew, Wormwood, a novice demon in charge of securing the damnation of a certain young man.  There is so much to “chew” on in it.  My favorite chapter is 15, where the above quote can be found.  In it Screwtape explains to Wormwood the importance of keeping humans preoccupied with the past and the future…and never the present, for,

“Of the present moment, and of it only, humans have an experience analogous to the the experience which our Enemy (God) has of reality as a whole; in it alone freedom and actuality are offered them…” Read the rest of this entry »

Well, this sure helps put things into perspective.  Runny noses, coughs and fevers pale in comparison to the grief and agony that the families involved in this school bus crash are going through.  My heart breaks for them.  The first thought that crossed my mind when I saw this story on the news last night was, “I wonder what their last exchanges with their parents were?” 

Because too often our mornings here are too rushed…too grumpy…  I’m going to give Elijah and Zeke extra long hugs before I send them to school on the bus this morning.

On S.W.A.K…  (By the way, did you all know what S.W.A.K stood for?  I assumed everyone did, but Dave was all like, “What does swak mean?”)  Happy Valentines Day!  I hope everyone feels very loved today.  We let Elijah deliver the Valentine.  We had a talk with him, and we really felt like it was very innocent on his part.  Dave asked him what he would do if Anna really wanted a kiss and a hug from him, and he said, “Well…a girl has never wanted to kiss me before…”  (Eeek!)  But by the end of the discussion, Elijah seemed to clearly understand that it was not appropriate to kiss any girl.  Except Mum.

On Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus…  I wanted to share a little about why I liked the quote that I took from The Magicians Nephew so much.  (Which is from Chapter 9 – The Founding of Narnia.  I should have included that in the post)  I feel like I’m totally “pinning my heart on my sleeve,” not normally something that I do, but, well…you can take or leave what I have to share. 

Dave and I really and truly believe that we are living in the “end times.”  I don’t want to go too much into the whys and wherefores now, but… well, the “signs of the times” are pretty obvious.  I’m not saying we know the day or the hour, of course, but we do believe that Jesus will return soon… when the “Spirit and the Bride say ‘Come.’”  (Rev. 22:17)  Friends, we, the Church, are the Bride, and at this hour in history, the Bride is crying out more than ever before for Jesus to come.  The 24/7 houses of prayer that are popping up all over the globe are evidence of this!

In the description of Aslan’s song, and the different reactions from the onlookers,  we see an interesting correlation of what the Bible tells us will happen in the end times.  When Polly listened to Aslan’s song, and took notice of what was happening around her, she understood.  Digory and the Cabby had no understanding of what was happening… and the presence of a big, scary-looking lion made them feel pretty nervous. 

So it will be in the end times.  Daniel 12:10 says, “Those who are wise will understand.”  The Bible tells us that many – many believers - will lose faith.  (Matt. 24:10)  Why?  I believe it will be because they are not in tune with what’s happening, and they will be confused, offended and scared.  If we are not listening to Jesus (and He speaks to us primarily through His Word) we won’t understand.  We’ll be scared like Digory and the Cabby.   I want to be like Polly.

Many Christians have no interest in studying the end times.  In fact, some even feel strongly that it’s a waste of time…”Whatever happens is going to happen.  Why study it?”  Not a good argument.  Jesus gives a strong word about being unprepared in the end times in Matthew 25:1-13.  Check it out.

Anyway, that’s just a tiny bit of what’s making me and Dave tick these days.  I could write so much more, but…I won’t.    On to something a little “lighter.”

On I Can Already Feel The Ocean…  We always find ourselves in a quandary when it comes to deciding what to do for vacation.  We very much want to visit our families.  (For those of you who don’t know, Dave and I are both from New Brunswick, Canada)  However, we also want to have a “holiday”…a time to kick back, relax, and enjoy each other’s company.  Well, needless to say, moving a family of six into a (very gracious) family member’s house for a couple of weeks is not relaxing!   So, we are loving the idea of being able to do both:  see our families, and have a real holiday; our own space to chill out in.  Can’t wait!  Although, right about now, summer doesn’t really seem like a reality.  Isn’t this the longest winter ever?